What to Do if Your Child is Being Bullied at School 

Three Essential Steps 

Bullying in schools is a serious issue that affects children across Australia. The tragic death of 12-year-old Sydney student Charlotte O’Brien serves as a heartbreaking reminder of the devastating impact bullying can have. Bullying is defined as aggressive behaviour, either physical or social, that is repetitive, intentional, and involves a power imbalance. This imbalance could be in the form of physical strength, popularity, or access to humiliating information. While face-to-face bullying may be declining, cyberbullying has unfortunately risen in recent years, making it a more persistent challenge. If your child is being bullied at school, here are three key actions you can take. 

1. Provide Emotional Support 

The first step when your child tells you they are being bullied is to offer unconditional emotional support. Children who experience bullying often feel isolated, rejected and powerless, which is why your response is so important. 

Listen Carefully 

When your child speaks up about bullying, listening without judgement is vital. Acknowledge their courage in sharing and make them feel heard. Here are some phrases that can help: 

  • “Thank you for telling me.” 
  • “I’m really glad you shared this with me.” 
  • “This sounds important. I would love to hear more about it.” 
Offer Reassurance 

Many children feel anxious or guilty, thinking the bullying is somehow their fault. They can also worry that speaking out will make things worse. It’s essential to reassure them that this is not their fault and you’re there to help. You can say: 

  • “Bullying is never okay.” 
  • “This isn’t your fault.” 
  • “We’ll work through this together.” 
Create a Plan Together 

Help your child regain control by involving them in the decision-making process. Ask them, “What do you think should happen next?” If they are unsure, offer suggestions and discuss possible solutions. It’s important to remind them they are not alone in handling this. 

If you’re struggling to cope with the situation or need more guidance, consider seeking support from a GP, who can refer you to a mental health professional. 

2. Understand Your School’s Anti-Bullying Policies 

Before approaching your child’s school, familiarise yourself with their anti-bullying policies. Most schools have clear guidelines on how they prevent and handle bullying incidents. Ask your child’s teacher or year advisor how these policies are implemented. Some schools run assemblies or lessons on positive behaviour and bullying prevention, but you want to ensure these efforts are ongoing, not just one-off talks. 

Research shows that the most effective anti-bullying programs involve the entire school community – students, teachers, and parents. If the school’s policies are not being actively applied, request a meeting with senior staff, such as the deputy principal or principal, to discuss your concerns. 

3. Document Everything 

Keeping a detailed record of all bullying incidents and your interactions with the school is crucial. Take notes after each conversation with the school, including the time, who you spoke to, what was discussed, and any agreed actions. Schools are busy places and miscommunication or forgotten details can happen. Charlotte O’Brien’s mother reported bullying concerns multiple times, but the school’s records apparently did not reflect these reports accurately. By documenting everything, you help ensure that behaviour patterns are noticed and addressed promptly. 

Follow up phone conversations with an email to confirm what was discussed. This creates a written trail that can be helpful if further action is needed. 

Support Services 

If your child or someone you know is in crisis due to bullying, help is available. These services can provide support and guidance for children and parents dealing with bullying: 

  • Kids Helpline: 1800 55 1800 
  • Lifeline: 13 11 14 
  • Parent Line NSW: 1300 1300 52 
  • Transcultural Mental Health Line: 1800 648 911